Hey, it can be embarrassing to say aloud (or even write down) your dream...your outrageous goal. But, it's a crucial step in goal setting. It's an act of courage, and courage, my friend, is the key to success. This post will get your brain thinking of what you want to accomplish in the new year and to celebrate what you did this past year.Read More
Aim each year to give unique, thoughtful gifts? Is space an issue at your home so you are striving to give (and receive) gifts that take up MUCH LESS space? This post includes 29 gifts that are NOT things, gadgets and just more stuff. I like to say - thoughtful giving without giving a thing. Get it?! :)Read More
This post...a little shot of laughter and a genuine pat on your backs, fellow parents. This parenting thing is tough, and that fact is evident (I mean, on clear display for complete strangers) when shopping at Wal-Mart, Target or Kroger's with your kids. My belief--if you can shop with your children in tow then you can confidently tackle other challenges.Read More
We mommas and daddies don't give ourselves enough credit! I mean, most of us shop at Wal-Mart (or Target, Aldi, etc.) with our CHILDREN IN TOW and manage to obtain 85% of the items on our list. That's victory in my book! If you can do that, then you can chase after that entrepreneurial fire in your heart (or that new goal in your soul)! Read on to see why.Read More
I mean seriously, sometimes you just have to laugh. As a parent, you find yourself in predicaments that 10 years earlier you couldn't have dreamed up. But, there you stand...a middle-class, well-educated woman holding the hand of a little tyke, his pants to the ground, booty on full display and a guilty look on his face.Read More
Funny and strange how a phrase can change over the years. The significance of the words "Wanna go out?" for me started in middle school. But as the years passed, the meaning of the phrase changed...significantly.Read More
A pint of chocolate milk and a crisp dollar bill...items given lovingly and freely to me. And on the surface, they seem small gifts. But in reality, they play a huge part in me learning to receive. We all know it's tough to give at times, yet sometimes it's even harder to receive.Read More
Hey, we all want quick results. I am a sucker for posts titled like "How I Grew My Email List to 15,000 People in Only 2 Months." Yet, as soon as I start to read, I deflate. I quickly realize the writer is starting her life-altering post with the number 2,000. 2,000 SUBSCRIBERS. What? What happened to 0 to 2,000?! I need to know about those numbers as well!!! My post is not about growing your email list. Instead, it is about the patience to grow slowly...naturally...embracing the tough moments.Read More
What does a 44 to 0 (yes, NOTHING!) lose in a middle school basketball game have to do with entrepreneurship for this momma? And what failures did Sara Blakely experience? Sara is the lady we thank when our butts and guts look great in white pants or a form-fitting dress. She is the creator of Spanx. Hear me, failing is a natural part of life. I've done it. Sara's done it. You've done it. But it is how we handle failure that matters.Read More
With almost a year of wannabe-an-entrepeneurship under my belt, I now can look back at some really dumb things I worried about this first year. These things paralyzed me at times...keeping me from moving forward. For example, I thought I could design the perfect website and that I needed to do this before doing anything else. Anybody had similar feelings? Well hear me, perfection is an illusion and one that stops us from pursuing our dreams. The purpose of this post...to share 5 lessons I learned, but mostly to encourage you to START.Read More
Not all love stories begin with starry nights and longing stares. Some begin with ugly words, brutal heat, and a 1996 Ford Escort, maroon and hatchback. At least, that is how Brandon's and my dislike-like-love story started. And, although it was not the most romantic beginning, it proved to be exactly what we needed. This year we celebrate 14 years of married life, and I hope and pray for many, many more.Read More
Ever had a casual comment stick with you (and I mean, really get to you)? Often times, these offhand remarks that hit home are hurtful. They cause us to have negative thoughts. Not this conversation, though! Not the one I had with my dad one fateful, ordinary night. His remark had a positive affect on his scared, yet sometimes brave; intelligent, but often times naive; determined, still hesitant entrepreneur daughter.Read More
At times, you just have to do it. You don't look forward to it, but it has to be done...work on your business WHILE your children are awake and home. I call it "working in insanity." It usually doesn't bring out the best in us. This post examines 3 mindsets to develop that will help us mompreneurs work with honor in front of our children, instead of work in frustration. I, personally, am tired of the nasty feeling I have about myself after I lash out in anger, all because I wanted to finish a 5-minute task and they wanted or needed me for something before I was done. This post is intended to bring sanity to your insanity and to build honor instead of frustration.Read More
Realizing as a mompreneur and sidepreneur that you need more hours in the day? Well, that is just not possible. So, we must use our time wisely, even the fringe hours...the frayed edges of the day when others are asleep but the industrious are still working. There are tricks, though, to creating a lasting routine and to maximizing your efforts during the fringe hours.Read More
Surely you don't suffer from mom guilt like the rest of us mompreneurs?! Oh..you do? Then, you are not alone! Read here to find 3 reasons why scheduling your work time for your side business is a must. Hint: it definitely lessens mom guilt!Read More
What are my gifts? Many of us wonder this at times of our lives. Maybe we have a entrepreneurial tug on our hearts to start a business. We question what our business should be. Or, maybe we are simply having a bad day and wonder, "What am I good at?!" These 5 strategies will help you recognize your God-given gifts. Because, my friend, no matter if you are having a good day or a bad day, you are gifted.Read More
Entrepreneurship (really...life) is full of ups and downs, much like a roller coaster. One moment you are screaming your head off in excitement and smiling at your seat mate. The next moment your breathe is being sucked from your lungs, and your head is being bashed by the "protective" harness. You are wondering why you are on this ride at all. Sound familiar to you? Read to learn 7 strategies for combating the downs and the ups of entrepreneurship (and life).Read More
Moms struggle today with a constant nagging in their heads to do something...everything better. This mom guilt is a nasty thing and robs us of our joy. We must fight against it! Since when did working hard and setting goals become bad things!? They aren't. In fact, we often strive to teach our children these things. So, stop feeling guilty and embrace the fact that you are teaching your children the value of hard work. My mom did, and I am so blessed by her example.Read More
No one can truly prepare you for the overwhelming guilt you feel after you have your first child. It starts hours and often just minutes after that precious bundle of life is placed in your arms.
Was it wrong for me to send my baby to the hospital nursery so I could sleep for 2 hours (after 24 hours of labor!)? I should be breastfeeding instead of bottle feeding! I needed to try harder to get the pediatrician my friend recommended. Everyone knows she is the best in town. What kind of mother am I?!
Sadly, these examples don’t even scratch the surface of all of the ways we moms begin beating ourselves up almost the moment our babies are born.
The guilt and self-doubt continue on from there.
These emotions rear their ugly heads even more when we start to do something of our own...
meet up with friends for no other reasons than fellowship and a good cup of coffee.
create a business.
Ways To Combat The Guilt
I wish I had a magic wand that with a small wave removes all of your and my guilt. Boy would that be wonderful! But, that is not reality.
Therefore, we can recognize it is a natural tendency and then find ways to combat the feeling. Or at least lessen the guilt!
1.) Own It And Own It Again!
This strategy is the toughest (downhill from here!) because it deals with your mental state…your belief in yourself as an entrepreneur and business owner.
Get this…you actually have to see yourself as one! Crazy, I know. But, many of us women (me included) sheepishly whisper that we have a side business or that we would like to have one in the future. Almost like we are ashamed.
What do we have to be ashamed or embarrassed by?
How horrible to want to bring additional money to your family when your husband has lost his job! How rude to use your God-given talents to serve someone else! What are you thinking to learn new skills at the ripe-old age of 30…40…50…60…or 70?! Learning is so dumb!
Really, you should be ashamed!
All of these things are written in jest. And when said aloud, they sound ridiculous. That’s my point!
There is no reason to feel guilty about providing income for your family, using your God-given gifts, or learning new things. We all have our reasons for our businesses, and clarifying yours will help with your feelings of guilt. You may want to read my post on the 5 Mindsets of a Sidepreneur to help you define your purpose.
From there, you can completely own your entrepreneurship goals and then own your business.
2.) Carve out time.
This is the simplest of the three strategies but the one we often dismiss. If done, it has a HUGE impact on what business tasks you actually accomplish and your mental state as you work.
Perhaps this sounds familiar to you. You have your supplies and computer on the kitchen table and begin working. Then, your son runs in to ask you to tie his shoe as he flies out the backdoor. Next, your youngest son yells, “Watch this!” You tilt your head up slightly from your work just enough to nod and smile at him (as if you actually saw his great feat). Two minutes later, your husband walks through the door with his work computer, lunch box, and gym bag and begins to disperse them throughout the kitchen. His “placement of things” messes up your focus, if you ever had any to start.
A few minutes after you huff and puff out of the kitchen, you feel guilty because you didn’t really watch your son when he asked, you have no idea why your other son raced out the backdoor, and you didn’t ask your husband about his day.
I have had many moments like this and probably will again. But, when we carve out time and treat it as work, we are less likely to think that plopping down in the kitchen (the busiest room in the house!) during the afternoon (when everyone is awake and home!) is a good idea.
Carving out time for your business requires that you look at your calendar each week and determine times you will work PRIOR to the week or day starting. It is like a budget you use to control your money, except this budget controls your time.
Rachel Cruze, the daughter of financial guru Dave Ramsey, says that a budget doesn’t put restrictions on you; the opposite—it gives you freedom. If you have ever been on a budget, you will understand what she means. With a budget, you no longer agonize over buying local honey when the cute Honey Bear is a lot cheaper at Wal-Mart. You don’t feel guilty over purchasing your favorite salad dressing that is $1.43 more than the store brand.
Instead, if you have money in your food budget and the necessities have been bought, then you have the freedom to buy! Guilt-free because the money is there!
The same is true with your time. If you plan accordingly (like you would for a financial budget), then you can work guilt-free during the time you have set aside.
Being honest about the season of life you are in is crucial as well. You must determine how many hours you physically can work each week and then go about carving that time from your busy schedule. I recently learned a lesson about the season of life I am in and how it affects my entrepreneurial goals. You may want to read How to Set Realistic Goals as an Entrepreneur.
Presently, I aim to work 15 hours a week on my side business and follow a specific structure to ensure I cover all of my bases.
No matter your business type and the hours you deem possible and appropriate for your present situation, carve out the time and then work the hours.
When you do this each week, you will be more productive, more focused, and feel less guilty.
3.) Involve your family.
This strategy is the most fun because, well, it involves your family.
You look your precious angels and handsome best friend in the face and tell them that you are a business owner. Remember strategy number 1—Own it and Own It Again. That means even with your family. They are a great place to start if you are struggling with the confidence to tell people about your business or your desire to have one.
You will probably have this conversation numerous times. (Hey, we all need reminders!)
To be honest, you will always be mom and wife first in their minds, which is really how we moms like it. We aren’t asking to no longer be moms and spouses. We are just telling them that we are more than those things, and especially during certain times of the day and week. Remember strategy number 2—Carve out time.
Tell your family when your scheduled work times will be and how you want to be treated during those times.
Remind them that they have goals and you gladly help them work to achieve those things. You simply want and expect that same consideration from them.
Lastly, involve your family physically if possible. For example, have them help with packing items to mail, going on trips to the bank or post office, or writing thank you cards to your customers. Having your family physically involved in some way makes your business more tangible, more real, in their minds.
Full disclosure, you may never shake off the mom guilt completely.
Yet, you can face it head on and use strategies to lessen it.
1.) Be confident that you are a business owner and entrepreneur! There’s no reason to be ashamed of providing for your family, learning new things, and using your God-given gifts.
2.) Carve out time for your business. You actually have to spend time working on your business if you are going to have one. Be intentional about your time.
3.) Involve your family. Tell them about your business, when you will be working, and ask them to help when possible. Then, repeat…like 1,000 times.
As moms, we spend much of our lives telling our children to pursue their dreams. Work hard and go after it! Nothing’s impossible!
As an entrepreneur, you have a chance to put into action, right before their very eyes, what it takes to pursue a dream.
Actions speak much, much louder than words.
A Step Further
If you struggle with self-doubt, which is truly what Strategy 1 is all about, there's some good news. You are not alone! Welcome to the club that I have been a (not-so-proud) member of for some time now. You may find my post Self-Doubt is a Real Issue for Entrepreneurs helpful--for no other reason than to know that one more crazy momma exists out there. :)
Have I missed any strategies that help you combat guilt? Would love to know them!
Why do you think guilt is so prevalent for mompreneurs?
Feel free to comment or to just ponder.
But definitely, keep working at your entrepreneurial goals!
Entrepreneurs with side businesses--sidepreneurs--unabashedly want something more or different than their full-time gigs. But, not all sidepreneurs have the same mindset. Which one do you most relate to?Read More